The primary function of our new business venture is consulting. There are many ways you might categorize a consultancy firm – essentially our mission is to advise business owners on the most advantageous ways in which to market and advertise their product or service. In addition – we can also offer advice as to how they might improve their operations based on our experiences working with other successful operators over the years.

In speaking with a couple of restaurants last week – it reminded me of an old story – a lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

We and a couple of friends went out one night to a local restaurant , “A.J.’s Grille” and noticed the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket…

It seemed strange. When the busboy brought water and utensils, I observed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our appetizer  I inquired, ‘Why the spoon?’

”Well,” ‘he explained, “the restaurant’s owner hired Spooter Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. “I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.” He said as he handed me a shiny new spoon. I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly.

Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, “Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?”

“Oh, sure” Then he lowered his voice. “Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.”By tying this string to the tip of our penis, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands , shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

Ever curious, I asked quietly, “After you get it out, how do you put it back?”

“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.”