It’s strictly a part time thing, good for a few extra bucks here and there.  From time to time however, it screams loudly to me the primary reason I could never work in retail again.  Dealing with the general public takes a very thick skin and more patience than I could ever possess.  People, in a retail transaction, often take advantage of most any opportunity to show what complete morons they can be.

eBay has consistently made great advancements in making the use of their site easier, and there’s no doubt that they give you the unique opportunity to reach literally millions upon millions of potential customers.  Truth is, pretty much no matter what you’re looking for, you can find it on eBay.

Need a pair of purple plastic shoes for an angry clown with a club foot?  You’ll find it on eBay.

The excrement sucking fucktard had purchased a CD from me that was brand new – never opened.  It was still in the original wrapping from the factory.  Unfortunately, there was a black pen mark on the back of the CD sleeve.  I didn’t notice it at all – so it was obviously quite small.  This small mark however seemed to throw this particular fussy fucker into a rage.  She sat down and fired off a venom filled tirade into my e-mail box about her immense displeasure with this and how dare I create such a tragic situation for her to have to deal with! If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought that I’d sold the offending CD to Gary Coleman.

I quickly and politely replied that if she was displeased with her purchase that I always offer a refund upon the return of the item, and that since this black mark would be a significant deterrent to her enjoyment of the music on the CD contained therein that I would be happy to refund her money, all six dollars of it.  I even went so far as to apologize for my inexcusable oversight, and promised her that I’d gladly lop off my right arm with a rusty hacksaw should it ever happen again.

This was not good enough for her.  She again lambasted me about the stress this was causing in her life and refused to return the item to me, she simply wanted her money back, no questions asked.  Apparently I owed her a freebie due to the trauma she had encountered and all this time I’ve stolen from her pathetic life due to this unforgivable action on my part.

My return policy is clearly stated on all of my ads and on each invoice that goes out.  It’s clear and concise and I guarantee satisfaction because if you’re not happy – I’ll refund your money, but you have to return the item.  If not, then it’s, what’s the word…uh….theft?

She’s attempting to deter me by threatening to notify eBay of my illicit listings and not properly describing every little nick and scratch on a $6.00 item.  Of course, as a seller, once I refund a customer’s money for any reason, eBay considers the transaction cancelled, and short of hunting the bitch down and pointing and laughing at her sad attempts to navigate an anger management class, there’s no action that they’d consider taking.

I know I’ll never get the item back, and I don’t really care, I have better things to do than get into an e-mail war with an ill-tempered cretin with a blazing yeast infection.  Besides, I can always let off a little steam by sharing this shit with you.