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BOWLING

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Oddly enough – this afternoon found us at the local bowling alley along with my sister and her ball.  I did bring along a pair of professional bowling shoes that for some inexplicable reason I own.  We never go bowling.  And for good reason it seems, because we can never get a lane.  We’ve gone to the same fucking bowling alley maybe 4 times in the past nine years and every last time we’ve walked out carrying my shoes, sad because we weren’t able to actually bowl.

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There’s always leagues, or a tournament, or, as today, just a veritable shitload of families with their loud obnoxious children filling up all the lanes and the resulting minimum one hour wait for our chance to suck at bowling in front of all the poorly dressed individuals wolfing down flat soda and stale pretzels. It’s wasn’t the hour long wait that we found distressing it was more the reality that the bar wouldn’t be open until evening.  Bad enough we had to be at the bowling alley, but to be there and endure an ill attempt at actually partaking in the sport without the requisite adult beverages made the reality far too tragic to bear.  I’ve been plenty responsible throughout most of my adult life, this is not the time to consider bowling without booze.

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Seriously, with all the shit going down everywhere you turn in the world, your life, my life and Charlie Sheen’s life you might be wondering what the fuck would compel someone to write about a wasted Sunday afternoon. It’s the simple fact that life’s screaming reality makes the search for the inane essential.

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Allow me to use myself as an example.  I’d use you but you were apparently upset the last time I did so, so…

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The last few months have been eventful to say the least.  The last couple of weeks have probably been the start to what will possibly be the biggest societal shift in the history of our lifetimes, hell any lifetime.  Most people don’t realize that, and that’s troubling.  Couple of weeks ago – we were watching the protests in Egypt and wondering why it hadn’t happened here yet.  Didn’t this country enact change through protest quite vigorously just over 40 years ago?  It did – then they upped the fluoride levels in the water supply creating the DNA for the apathetic populous that makes up the majority of this nation.

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Then they began revolting in Wisconsin.  But it’s more combative in it’s message – unfortunately more left versus right than a united front against an unjust system.  I haven’t quite decided specifically where I stand on this myself as each side provides sound reasons to their stand – seems like a real opportunity to showcase how compromise and reason might resolve a problem.  You and I both know there isn’t a fucking chance in hell that’s going to happen – but it’s nice to dream.

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You’d think that revolt in this nation is more or less inevitable at this point.  From the Federal Government down to the State’s to the local counties and townships – cuts are being made everywhere.  More people are losing their jobs, taxes are being raised and services are being reduced.  Nearly three years since the economy fell to shit, people are pretty much fed up.  They’re tired of struggling with no light of hope to keep them driving forward. They’re tired of watching the elite get further ahead and the complete destruction of the middle class. They’re pissed that they can’t get an open lane at their local bowling alley.

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Oh, and did you notice that most banks are now considering limiting the amount you can access at any point on your debit card to a hundred bucks. It’s a debit card.  You’re accessing “your” money.  Yea, right.

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We don’t want to think that it’s real, so we go bowling.

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SATURDAY JULY 15, 2011

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So here we are about five months later and only two weeks away from out government defaulting.  Yup, we’re out of money.  Unless of course the two parties can come to some sort of agreement of how to raise the debt ceiling without cementing the death of the future.  Let’s face it, both options suck, it really boils down to a matter of how long can we put off the inevitable?  Do we decide not to offer tasty government cheese beginning August 2nd or enjoy a few more bites but completely exhaust the remaining cheese come next Spring?  We’re fucked people, face it.

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We haven’t returned to either the bowling alley nor the Mexican Restaurant since then.  Not for any other reason but the fact that we really don’t like to bowl and the restaurants burritos generally suck.  We have found other American-like ways to bury our head in the proverbial sand.  Booze, herb and Tosh.0 work quite nicely for us thank you.  We could solve all the problems if we put our mind to it – but we can’t because there’s cookies and a really funny Flintstones episode on right now.

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If you’ve ever actually been bowling, you may know that the most difficult spare to pick up is the 7-10 split. Our ever battling assholes in congress continue facing that split with every decision.  So interested in ideological agendas based on political party lines, they can’t get themselves to realize the common sense ways of completing the task, and simply roll the ball (or us actually) right into the gutter.

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Any reasonable bowler will tell you there’s a very simple manner in which to make the 7-10 split.

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First, throw the ball hard.  Don’t hold back on trying to save a little energy for the next roll, this is it, don’t be a pussy just go for it.

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Second – hit one of the pins.  This can be accomplished by simply paying attention and taking good aim.  That’s an important element no matter what type of shot you’re taking.

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And third – get lucky as hell.

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Look, no matter what decision is reached there’s going to be consequences and someone is going to hurt.  That’s a given.  But that’s a given with pretty much any decision any of us make at any time.  Decisions are what ultimately lead to regret – but there’s bound to be bad decisions at some point in the game.  Regret stings a lot harder when it’s reached through a non-decision, because that’s a regret that will never earn closure.

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So here’s hoping our fearless leaders all are sporting their fancy bowling shoes and rubbing up their balls – it’s time to bowl the final frame.

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