TUESDAY, MAY 18, 2010


There are so many things you can learn – you just have to be open to it.  In my life I’ve learned that it’s just better to be accepting of others opinions, even though I may disagree.  I enjoy a spirited debate on pretty much any topic – so long as the debate is with someone of at least moderate intelligence and is open as well to the understanding that if there is one thing that we are all entitled, it is an opinion.

Alluding to a previous topic oft mentioned on these pages, there are some who claim it destroys ambition.  I can understand that theory.

However, to me, that trade-off for the insight it provides into the unexplored realms of thought is worth it.  I still have plenty of ambition, it simply no longer overwhelms me.  I’ve worked hard my whole life, and now I find that I can enjoy sitting back and observing from time to time.  I can joke about being a lazy slug all I want, but I’ve learned that’s really not all that accurate.  I’ve simply learned to accept that it’s good sometimes to slow down.

Not only do I feel that my analysis of observation helps guide me towards further enlightenment, but it’s also very relaxing.  And trust me, a relaxed Bonehead is far more pleasant to be around than the cranky old fuck I used to be.

Weather we like to admit it or not, we all live inside our own head.  I’m not even positioning that as a metaphor, it’s been scientifically verified.  Your five senses (I actually have six – but I’m a freak of nature), everything you see, touch, hear, taste or smell all form an image in your mind.  Our senses work through electrical impulses which stimulate specific points within our brains.  Matter, therefore, doesn’t actually exist outside of our mind, at least not in a form that is truly identical to each and every one of us, nor available for definitive proof. Everything we see is solely modeled after the way our mind visualizes it.

So, unless you’ve got an extra gaping hole shining light into your head, everything your can hear, visualize or feel comes from a deep, dark place.

That might help to explain this season’s American Idol.

The point is, I’ve learned to become comfortable with sometimes, just sitting back, and basically, doing nothing.  It’s actually a nice change of pace.  Don’t get me wrong, I still work like a dog during the week, but the weekends – I like to keep them pretty free.  But if you happen to see me sitting out on the deck, or by the pool…although I may seem devoid of any overt physical activity, rest assured, my mind is quite active.  Observing, contemplating, planning, it’s probably all pretty dangerous.

It’s actually a pretty big step for me you see.  I’ve never been really good at the relaxing thing.  Time was, if I was sitting around, I’d probably get pretty antsy, thinking that there’s probably something that I should be doing.  But eventually, you learn as you travel down the line, that most of the shit that you did to fill the time wasn’t really all that important.  You might as well have spent that time sitting down and gazing out at the water, enjoying the ebb and flow of the tide against the shore (or the skimmer box if you’re looking at your pool and imaging it’s the ocean).

Probably works out about right though.  When you’re young, you’re fortunate if you’ve got drive and desire.  If you’re able to combine those traits with passion and energy and channel them into a worthwhile effort, you sometimes can acquire an illusion of success.  It’s just an image and nothing more – but still one that’s never gained without effort.

It’s fulfilling to know when your effort has enabled you the luxury of looking backward with contentment without regret.  Better still, when you can still look forward with excitement over those things you are yet to learn.  More knowledge to be gained through observation and analysis – with an open mind and a thoughtful heart.

Someday, you get to learn that the Watcher has more answers than questions.  Don’t we all aspire to sit where he does, and understand that the ultimate illusion is that we actually think we matter.