THE BALLAD OF CLIENT 9

THE BALLAD OF CLIENT 9

The Ballad of Client 9

It’s a mere week since the New York Times broke the story of New York’s arrogant governor Eliot Spitzer’s involvement with high priced hookers. I, along with many other like-minded boneheads were thrilled with the news! This coming from a clown who used to enjoy breaking and prosecuting prostitution rings and loads of other fun stuff he found immoral and detrimental to society.

To me, it’s always a great day when some self righteous asshole who thinks their way is the only way gets outted as being nothing more than a hollow fraud in a suit. Nothing worse than those moral “squeaky-clean” politicians having their skeletons pulled out of the closet and thrown up in the front of the room for all to see. In my idealistic view, they’ll all eventually be caught, but that’s an unrealistic view.

There’s many more eloquent rantings and ramblings out there for you to review, and if you’re at all like me, by now you’re already on Spitzer overload and are just happy he’s now sequestered away with hopefully a lot of shame, guilt and pain. Best article so far is in this weeks New York Magazine – pick it up if for nothing else, the creative collectible cover.

What makes this situation extra wonderful is that I was just commenting to my wife around the holidays that what I really wanted for Christmas was a blind black governor.

No, seriously – I’ve despised Spitzer since he was attorney general. Not for the reasons of most people. He liked to wax poetic about himself and how he nabbed many members of the Gambino crime family. A whole lot of false pride from a schmuck who illegally wire tapped his victims to begin with (for more information, see Bush, George W.) But that’s not the worst in my eyes.

Nope, our favorite elected official not only got his jollies from anal sex with sex trade workers – he thought it important to be the watchdog for record industry payola to radio stations. Yes, a major threat to our national security, the fact that a record company is slipping a couple of free cd’s to a DJ in exchange for a couple of spins at 3am on a Wednesday. Had he nothing better to do? God for fuckin’ bid some morning show dork with a face for radio gives away a free trip. How did the station get the trip? Eliot no doubt knew that radio stations don’t pay for shit, so they probably got greased by the record company.

Maybe it was the ugly ears, or maybe because he was a tireless prick in his crusades, but he definitely spooked the record companies. Nope, radio stations can’t get a damn promo cd from a record company any longer for fear of being trapped in a payola accusation. And yes, I’m a Bonehead and still working in the radio industry for some ungodly reason – so I’m pissed because his incessant meddling made my job just that much tougher.

So I’m happy he was the latest empty suit revealed as nothing more than a fraud.

This little radio station spoof is only moderately funny at best, but for those of us in the industry happy to see Eliot gone – it rings true.