THE GIDDY MYSTERY CRUISE DAY FIVE – WE ANTAGONIZE SENOR FROG IN OLD SAN JUAN
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 2009 The Giddy Mystery Cruise - Day Five: We Antagonize Senor Frog in Old San Juan Tuesday began as we were startled awake by the phone ringing sometime around 8:30am. The caller ID said Stateroom Attendant, but when we tried to pick it up the line wouldn’t…
THE GIDDY MYSTERY CRUISE DAY SIX – ST.KITTS AND THE JET SKI INCIDENT
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2009 The Giddy Mystery Cruise - Day Six: St. Kitts and the Jet Ski incident No room service breakfast this morning, too much stress looking for trousers. We decide we’ll eat healthy at the Aqua Spa pool. Junior Miss is of course sleeping in and taking a…
THE GIDDY MYSTERY CRUISE DAY SEVEN – ST.MAARTIN, NEARLY RUN OVER BY AN AIR FRANCE 747
The Giddy Mystery Cruise - Day Seven: St. Maartin, Nearly Run Over by an Air France 747 It’s an early wakeup call today, we’ve pre-booked an excursion to take us around the Island with Bernard’s Tours. He came very highly recommended online. We’re scheduled to meet up with him right…
THE GIDDY MYSTERY CRUISE DAY EIGHT – AT SEA AND OVER SERVED ON CELEBRITY SOLSTICE
The Giddy Mystery Cruise - Day Eight: At Sea and Over Served on Celebrity Solstice Friday the weather was beautiful, so of course we all decided to sleep in a bit. Who needs the sun and warm sea breezes when in just a few short days we’ll be back in…
THE GIDDY MYSTERY CRUISE DAY NINE – SEASICK
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2009 The Giddy Mystery Cruise - Day Nine: Seasick Holy shit. I recall thinking that, laying in bed late on Saturday morning. The weather was cloudy and it was raining slightly. The sea was pretty rocky, and the ship had a different feel to it as I…
THE GIDDY MYSTERY CRUISE DAY TEN -DOCKING IN FORT LAUDERDALE AND THE PRICK TSA AGENT INCIDENT
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2009 The Giddy Mystery Cruise - Day Ten: Docking in Fort Lauderdale and the Prick TSA Agent Incident When you’re a kid, you don’t realize it. There was that certain feeling you had once you got out of school on the last day before summer recess. It…
GREAT OPENING LINES
SATURDAY, MARCH 8, 2008 Great Opening Lines I like to read. Sometimes I even try to write something that somebody else might like to read. Problem is, I can usually come up with a great opening line to a limitless story…but that’s it. Premature creation. Here are a few of mine…
MY DOG IS AN IDIOT
FRIDAY, MARCH 7, 2008 My Dog Is An Idiot My dog is an idiot. Don’t go giving me all that “Oh but she’s so cute” shit either. The dog is an idiot, she always was an idiot and most likely she’ll continue to be an idiot until the day she laughs…
I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY AT THE TIME…
I thought it was funny at the time... So Chrissy says to me – “You know you look much thinner when you haven’t been drinking beer.” I say – “But Sweety, you look much thinner when I am drinking beer” This is where I’ll be sleeping this evening…
FOUR SMALL GREEN DISHES – A SHORT STORY
Four Small Green Dishes - A Short Story Four Small Green Dishes – A Short Story of a doomed man of 23. Note the pentameter change on every 23rd word! There was once a man, let’s call him…Tim Tim was a nice man. Yes a very nice man. His folks…
LET’S TALK ABOUT PANTS
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 29, 2008 Let's talk about pants It's almost midnight - Friday night. Chrissy just went to bed about a half hour ago, and before she did she asked me not to be stupid tonight. In that ideal I boldly decided to write a smart, timely poem about trousers.…
SILLY CHRISTMAS 2004 RAMBLINGS….ANOTHER HOLIDAY BONEHEAD REVIEW FROM THE BRIDAL REVIEW
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 2008 Silly Christmas 2004 Ramblings....Another Holiday Bonehead Review from The Bridal Review "The Twelve Ways Of Christmas" There may be many of you reading this right now who were among the many who got engaged either on Christmas, Christmas Eve, or one of the many festive 12…
THE MUNCHIES (Vintage Sept 2004)
The Munchies (Vintage Sept 2004) Odd - cause it doesn't really mean what you think! This was September 2004 "The Munchies" The munchies. Often co notates poor images of some pot smoking teenager jonesin’ for a cheeseburger at White Castle late on a Saturday Night – long after the less…
BONEHEAD IS INTERVIEWED BY BONEHEAD JR. (Mar 2007)
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2008 Bonehead is interviewed by Bonehead Jr. (Mar 2007) When my beautiful and intelligent daughter was a Senior in High School - she chose my profession as the subject of her senior project for business. A part of that involved interviewing me - I'm happy to say…
LIVING IN SIN (Vintage October 2003)
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 2008 Living In Sin (Vintage October 2003) RANDOM BONEHEAD ARTICLE- A WEEK OR SO PRIOR TO AARON BOONE'S GAME 7 HOMERUN IN THE BOTTOM OF THE 12TH SENT THE RED SOX HOME AND THE YANKEES INTO THE WORLD SERIES. YES - THOSE WERE THE DAYS!"Living In Sin"…
THE SYMBOLISM OF TENT WEDDINGS
The Symbolism of Tent Weddings I don't know what I was smoking when I wrote this - but I'm thinking that it might be neat to get some more! From early March 2004... "YOUR TENT WEDDING" So my sister (yes – there is a female version of Bonehead) tells me…
YOUR CAR SMELLS (October 2003)
Your Car Smells (October 2003) ANOTHER OLD RANDOM BONEHEAD - OCTOBER 2003. TRUST ME IT WAS FUNNIER WITH PICTURES. USE YOUR IMAGINATION TO INCREASE YOUR AMUSEMENT. YOUR CAR SMELLS! So – my car smells. Now before you start saying “of course it does Bone, you’re Sicilian”. Common misconception ‘cause after…
THE BACHELOR PARTY (August 2003)
The Bachelor Party (August 2003) HERE'S AN OLD BONEHEAD REVIEW CIRCA AUGUST 03 - EXCEPT FOR THE SELECT FEW WHO KNOW THE TRUTH, COULD THERE HAVE BEEN A BIT OF FORESHADOWING HERE? “The Bachelor Party” “Oh grow up for crissakes”. There comes a time in every man’s life where he…
A FEW WORDS ABOUT MY JOHNSON
A few words about My Johnson A few words about My Johnson… My big fat Greek friend Milo Carpaticus Johnson (we all call him My Johnson) is an expert in relationships. He and his beautiful bride Hermaphrodites Johnson (Her Johnson) have enjoyed a successful marriage for the past dozen years.…
WHAT IF GROOMS CHOOSE THE MUSIC? (Vintage June 2003)
What if Grooms Choose The Music? (Vintage June 2003) ANOTHER EARLY BONEHEAD REVIEW“What If Grooms choose the music”Ok – so I’m dating a singer. Not a karaoke singer mind you, but one who can actually sing. Quite well too, I’ve seen her break a glass from over twenty yards –…